We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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