id be glad to
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
