My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
