I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
