I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
