ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
