You just made me feel so damn special
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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