I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
