Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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