Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
