He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Never underestimate the power of titties
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
