He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
