Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
