Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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