I'm going to jail i love you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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