Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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