How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
