Nicole vs. Life
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
