Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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