someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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