And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
