Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize