yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
