Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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