the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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