jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
