The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
