whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
smell my finger.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
