I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
