I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
