WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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