I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
