On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
