you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
