That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
