All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
