Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
