I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
