Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize