So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
