the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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