We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
