the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
as a side note pls kill me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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