Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
