He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
