People in love make me want to vomit
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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