I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
