I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
