They should really pass out barf bags in church
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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