I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
