carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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