I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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