VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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