y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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