I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize