i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
