i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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