Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
