Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
