Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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