Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
