so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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