We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
