She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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